Do you have those days? Not for any particular reason. Maybe lots of small reasons.
I started blogging back in March. I had thought about doing it for a few months before that.
It had been many really long months where I was at a low point. Maybe the lowest point of my life. I felt like I was in a hole and I couldn't find my way out.
I looked at life as something I was enduring. Something that seemed to always happen to me. I didn't look at the good things in my life enough. I was focusing on the things that were not going well the trials, the burdens of life.
Don't get me wrong I have many many good things about my life. I always have. I am actually quite lucky and I have a good life.
You see the problem was that I wasn't giving as much attention, as much notice to all the good things. All the many things I have to be grateful for. I was focusing on what wasn't right instead of what was right.
I have learned a lot over the past year or so. I have grown. I guess that's what this life is about. Learning, growing, stretching, trying, failing and trying again.
I am not where I want to be. Will I ever be? Not here, not in this life. But I keep trying and I will succeed and I will fail.
This blog is a stange thing for me. It is out of my comfort zone. Yet it has come to mean a lot to me in a strange way... that's hard to understand.
I was searching on the internet one day for a recipe, just browsing and I came across a blog. I didn't even know what a blog was. It was called Pioneer Woman. The blog is in my list of family/friends and places.
This lady was from the city and now living on a ranch. It fascinated me. I read her stories, I read her recipes and the thought came to me that this lady was making the most of her life. She was taking whatever circumstance she was in and she was making the most of it.
I knew I needed a new perspective. I needed to shift my life from poor me, to lucky me. That is now my journey, my goal.
Lucky Jeannie Warner!I am lucky. I am grateful. I am blessed. I am trying to live, to really live. I am trying new things. I am trying to look at the glass half full.
Do I always succeed. No! Today remember is a blue day. Probably PMS, being too busy or the stress of school starting and needing money for school clothes and registration and on and on. (The money stress never seems to be out of my life.)
This blog I look at often. I don't always post but I look for a few moments and I see the photo's the memories the joys that are my life. I see my trip to New York. The nice surprises my husband does for me. I see evidence that I have a life that is full of many blessings.
I am even taking or should I say allowing others to take photos of me. For years because of weight I would always take the picture. I was not in the picture. WHY? I feel sad about that because where is the evidence that I was there at the event? On the vacation?
I really never know who reads this blog and it doesn't matter. This is for me, to remind me I am blessed. A lot of you tell me you read it and you don't have a blog. Blogging is probably not for every one. It's strange to put your life out there. But for me it has been like therapy. I plan to print the blog each year. (Did you know you can do that? Pictures and all). I don't write a journal and I long ago gave up scrapbooking. (I am too far behind and too busy for now). This will be my journal my scrapbook.
I invite you to start a blog and if you do share it with me. I will add you as a friend.
Thanks for listening. My blue day is turning around.
Wow Jeannie you are getting brave and you are living. (Does this sound like I am talking to myself?) I do that probably too much. But hey sometimes it helps :0)
